Whenever I feel like giving up…

On the 21st day of April this year the unthinkable happened in my musical world.  The man who wrote lyrics that spoke directly to me, that made me think, reflect and expand my thinking was found dead in a lift in his Paisley mansion in Minneapolis.

I watched the world mourn, they watched videos of him, scrabbled for snippets of information about this immensely private genius.  I have no interest in how he lived his life, what he did , what he ate, how he worshipped his God.  I was and am only interested in his music.   Don’t misunderstand me in the over 80 concerts in which I saw him live I found him to be funny, engaging, charismatic but ultimately he was,to me , a poet, a thinker and a musician .

The injustice floored me and in many ways I am still in a state of illogical denial.   I have a hugely eclectic taste in music but no one will ever fill Prince’s purple Spotlight.

So I guess that has set the tone of the year, as a person who enjoys striving for perfection within stability this year has been a shake up.

There has been a change in me that I now need to accomadate within my lifestyle.  The is a realisation that nothing is forever and that anything may happen .

Educationally this year I led the decision to move the school from maintained to academy , which will be realised shortly.  I never thought I would feel confident moving into a academy status but with all our secondary schools and the majority of primaries in our area now having academy status our position was precarious and vulnerable.  I am now very eager to join the Carefully selected MAT we are joining.  I feel the challenge and support is just what we need to progress further in our journey, a new and welcome way of working.

Work life balance has, if possible, been even worse in the last year.  Rather like the liberated women who celebrates being allowed to work whilst still retaining all of the household duties I have celebrated a move to the country and the village walks, space to entertain and a larger living space without relinquishing late night, weekend working and sleepless nights.

I know I am calmer with family and friends I appreciate people more and will be more flexible , I will back down, wave a white flag and forgive where previously my stubborn streak refused to allow me.   This double edged sword has however meant that in the past 18 months professionally I have felt disappointed , taken advantage of and sometimes bullied … not from my own team of course, they are simply wonderful!   To care deeply means to hurt deeply too

So looking forward to 2017 how can I be a better me? Lead a healthier like , enjoy more, worry less?

I promise to…

-listen to my body, if I’m tired I must stop..too many late night at a laptop in 2016

-Keep my gym routine, no matter what.  It gives me time to reflect and wind down.  Stop guilt tripping for leaving work at a reasonable time to get to the gym.

-listen more, judge less and stop worrying so much about what people think of me.

-spend time with like minded people, relax, enjoy and learn new ways to look at old problems.

I’m not going to eat healthily, drink less, get super fit… it’s not going to happen.   I’m going to concentrate on being happy.

Going t consider..Let it go!  Does it matter? Do I need acceptance?

Keep the main thing the main thing…as Covey says

Whenever I feel like giving up, whenever my sunshine turns to rain….  Prince really was Always in my hair  and always will be probably … thank Goodness img_7071

Advertisements